A Woman Is No Man

Title: A Woman Is No ManAuthor: Etaf RumGenre: FictionRating: 4.5 out of 5Date Started: 24 April 2021Date Finished: 27 April 2021
This book was recommended by Goodreads and I like to read about women who win against all odds. I had been planning to read this book for a while and got the book a couple of times, and due to my busy schedule, I was unable to complete the book. 
The book is about Deya, 18 years old girl, who lives in Brooklyn with her grandparents and her three sisters. Her family comes from Palestine and according to the culture and the custom, her grandmother is looking for suitors for Deya to get married. The grandmother gives her no choice. But history repeats itself. Deya's mother Isra, who grew up in Palestine, was given no choice and was married to Adam and moved to America. Deya has been told that her parents died in a car accident.
The story alternates between Deya and Isra. Isra was brought up in a male-dominated society and saw her mother's abuse by her father. Isra believes that her mother did not have any choice and neither does she while she is being physically abused by Adam. Isra feels that being abused is normal, but wants her daughters to have choices when they grow up. She feels trapped and guilty of not bearing a son for Adam and his family. She develops a friendly relationship with Adam's sister Sarah, who is rebellious according to her parents Fareeda and Khaled, but fights for her rights.
Isra suffers from post-partum depression, and keeps having kids to the dismay of the family, all girls! Isra's husband Adam is the oldest of the four kids and works hard to help his father and his brothers. Sarah, the youngest wants to go to college and her parents want her to get married. Adam takes out his frustration on Isra by physically abusing her. Isra feels she is bound since she neither knows English nor the place. Isra is also fond of reading and reads to her kids, and Sarah gets books for Isra, which is not encouraged by Fareeda and Khaled.
Deya's day changes when she meets a stranger and gets information about her parents. Meeting that stranger changes the course of her life. She gets to know more about her family and how much her mother Isra loved her and her sisters, Nora, Amal, and Layla. Deya also gets to know the truth about the death of her parents.
My favorite character in the book was Isra. Even though Isra grew up and lived in a patriarchal culture and household, she tries to make sense of everything. She also feels guilty that she is not living up to the mark of her mother or a middle-eastern woman.
It was a roller coaster ride of emotions throughout the book. Growing up in a South Asian country, I was able to relate to every character, and even with Isra. It was sad to see how patriarchy puts a woman down to her knees and punishes her for no reason. I also felt sad that the families especially women still continue to do the same with the next generation rather than making them strong and letting them study.
Favorite lines from the book:

• Where I come from, voicelessness is the condition of my gender, as normal as the bosoms on a woman's chest, as necessary as the next generation growing inside her belly.
• Yet as much as she wanted to go out and venture into the world, there was also comfort and safety in the known. And Mama's voice in her ear, reminding her: A woman belongs at home. Even if Isra left, she wouldn't know where to go.
• A daughter was only a temporary guest, quietly awaiting another man to scoop her away, along with all her financial burden.
• "Love each other? What does love have to do with marriage? You think your father and I love each other?"
• She lived her entire life straddled between two cultures. She was neither Arab nor American. She belonged nowhere. She didn't know who she was.
• Palestine or America. A woman will always be alone.
• It was Fareeda's idea not be breastfeed Deya. Breastfeeding prevented pregnancy, and adam needed a son.
• It's the loneliest people who love the books most.
• She thought back when Mama used to compare her with other girls, saying she was nothing but stick and bones, and that no man would want to marry her. She'd tell Isra to eat more, and when she gained weight, she'd tell her to eat less, and when she went outside, she'd tell her to stay out of the sun so her skin wouldn't get dark.
• I don't know. But I want to read a book about what it really means to be a woman.
• They're saying she drowned her in the bathtub. Ramsy and his family tried to pass it off as an accident, said she's still a young bride, and didn't know how to bathe a girl properly. But I heard she did it on purpose. She didn't want a daughter.
• The cruelest thing on this earth is a man's heart.
• Isra thought about Khaled and Fareeda, how they had carried their children out of the refuge camp, leaving their country behind and coming to America. They had to run away to survive, and now their daughter had done the same. Maybe that's the only way she thought. The only way to survive.

Do They Hear You When You Cry

Author: Fauziya Kassindja & Layli Miller Bashir
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 3 out of 5
Date Started: 17 April 2021
Date Finished: 23 April 2021

I bumped into this book while reading an article about an Iranian woman filing for asylum. I also recently read a paper about FGM and I thought this book would be a perfect fit.
Fauziya's story starts in prison. Fauziya Kassindja grew up in Togo, one of the African countries, protected by her father and mother, who believed in educating girls and rejecting some of the cultural practices like FGM. She is one of the 7 children.
After Fauziya's father died, her aunt and uncle evict her mother from the house and promises her as a 4th wife to a 45 years old man, who wants Fauziya to go through FGM. Fauziya illegally flies to Germany while escaping with the help of her sister and then lands in the USA seeking asylum. While in Germany, she befriends a German woman Rudina who helps Fauziya for two months. She meets Charlie, who is also from Africa, and helps her escape to America with his sister's passport.
Fauziya is stuck in jail for asylum for more than a year. Her struggle to get through the system, hearing, and jail conditions are horrendous. Her cousin Rahuf tries to help her by getting the lawyers. Fauziya meets the lawyer Layli Miller Bashir, who practices Bahai faith and is aware of FGM, works hard to get Fauziya out of jail. In the book, Fauziya talks about every jail inmate she came across and everyone who helped her. She speaks highly about Layli, who was with her every step of the way.
The author also shows how bad the system is and how corrupted the entire system is. The medical facility, the quality food given to the inmates, and not to mention the solitary confinement without any explanation.
I liked the character of Layli, who tried everything she could to get Fauziya out of jail. Layli's efforts to get the experts to have a say in the case, relentless efforts to find people who can help Fauziya's case show her determination to her work and ethics.
The book was an eye-opener in many ways. Fauziya who practices Islam talks about her faith and some of the rituals of Islam, which were very interesting to know. The book also gave enough background on the culture and practices of African tribes. The book was long and the story was narrated well. There were a lot of repetitions and towards the end, I felt that the book could have been at least 50 pages less than it is.
Favorite lines from the book:

• Someone suggested 'Fauziya' - Supreme Success - which my father thought was perfect.
• My parents, however, were strong believers in educating all their children in both madrasah and secular schools. My father saw education as consistent with being a good Muslim because Islam emphasizes the importance of attaining knowledge.
• We (Muslims) believe that people who die while observing Ramadan, go straight to heaven because they die sinless.
• I believe God determines everything and has His reasons for everything, reasons we don't always understand.
• The Bahai's believe parents are obligated to educate all their children, but if parents must choose between educating a son and educating a daughter because there is a lack of money, they educate the girl first; they feel that since girls grow up to become mothers and mothers are the first educators of children, their education is particularly important to the well-being of both family and community.
• She saw the poverty, she saw the hunger. She saw how women were often abused and exploited in a typically patriarchal African culture.
• Suddenly I realized that when the policeman had hit me on the wrist with the baton, my watch must have taken much of the force of impact. It was Yaya, still protecting me.

Dear Edward

Title: Dear EdwardAuthor: Ann NapolitanoPublished: 2020Genre: FictionRating: 4 out of 5Date Started: 14 April 2021Date Finished: 17 April 2021

My interest in this book is:

I read reviews on Goodreads as well as on some of the book blogs I follow. The story of a boy who is the sole survivor of a plane crash that killed his family made me interested in this book.

Ideas Expressed/Message/Plot:

In the summer of 2013, Edward, a 12 years old boy along with his family is flying to Los Angeles. The plane crashes in Colorado, killing 191 people on board including Edward's mother Jane, father Bruce, and his beloved brother Jordan. After the accident, he is sent to live with his aunt Lacey and uncle John, who is his mother's sister and brother-in-law.

The story is about Edward facing the reality of not having his family around and trying to make peace with the situation are expressed well. He becomes good friends with the neighbor's daughter Shay, who is of the same age as Edward. Edward's story of survival catches the attention of the world, but he tries to find his place in the world without his family.

Favorite Characters:

My favorite character was Shay, Edward's next-door neighbor, and his close friend. She through the entire book connects with Edward and tries to ground him. She is with him when he is feeling low and helps him get out of depression.

When I finished this book, I felt:

I cannot pinpoint what exactly kept me going through the book. The chapter alternated between Edward's current day and the events that happened on the plane on that unfortunate day. I felt that some of the chapters were unnecessary or way longer than they needed to be. The author has made a good effort of bringing the personal lives of all the people on the plane. I could relate to Edward's innocence when he was with his family and how he looked up to his brother Jordan, and also how he feels out of place in his aunt's house.

John hiding the letters to Edward from the relatives of the deceased people is portrayed as he was trying to hide something. John was trying to save Edward with the added stress while he was recovering. Edward makes an effort to connect to his brother's girlfriend Mihira and helps her with her studies. I liked the idea of Edward trying to help relatives of the victims in any way possible. I was happy that the book had a happy ending, and that Lacey and John were together after the turmoil. I had tears rolling down my cheeks a couple of times, but the book was not as emotionally draining as I thought it would be.

Favorite lines from the book:

• Since death is certain and the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing? - Pema Chodron

• Numbers are never random. They like patterns and meaning.

• I just don't want to block all the memories out. The fact that they are good means they're powerful. We're building a new foundation here, and if you can't let those memories in, and even, at some point, get pleasure from them, they can be bricks in the foundation. Good, solid bricks.

• The experience of time passing without noticing is called a fugue state!

• First, because Jordan would want to see her. Second, because she is the only living person-other than him-who deeply, specifically, loved his brother. He lost Jordan, and she did too.

• If you live long enough, everything is complicated.

• You could have died; you just didn't. It was dumb luck. Which means, truly, that you can do anything.

• What happened is baked into your bones, Edward. It lives under your skin. It's not going away. It's part of you and will be part of you every moment until you die. What you've been working on, since the first time I met you, is learning to live with that.

• The air between us is not empty space.