This book was recommended by Goodreads and I like to read about women who win against all odds. I had been planning to read this book for a while and got the book a couple of times, and due to my busy schedule, I was unable to complete the book.
The book is about Deya, 18 years old girl, who lives in Brooklyn with her grandparents and her three sisters. Her family comes from Palestine and according to the culture and the custom, her grandmother is looking for suitors for Deya to get married. The grandmother gives her no choice. But history repeats itself. Deya's mother Isra, who grew up in Palestine, was given no choice and was married to Adam and moved to America. Deya has been told that her parents died in a car accident.
The story alternates between Deya and Isra. Isra was brought up in a male-dominated society and saw her mother's abuse by her father. Isra believes that her mother did not have any choice and neither does she while she is being physically abused by Adam. Isra feels that being abused is normal, but wants her daughters to have choices when they grow up. She feels trapped and guilty of not bearing a son for Adam and his family. She develops a friendly relationship with Adam's sister Sarah, who is rebellious according to her parents Fareeda and Khaled, but fights for her rights.
Isra suffers from post-partum depression, and keeps having kids to the dismay of the family, all girls! Isra's husband Adam is the oldest of the four kids and works hard to help his father and his brothers. Sarah, the youngest wants to go to college and her parents want her to get married. Adam takes out his frustration on Isra by physically abusing her. Isra feels she is bound since she neither knows English nor the place. Isra is also fond of reading and reads to her kids, and Sarah gets books for Isra, which is not encouraged by Fareeda and Khaled.
Deya's day changes when she meets a stranger and gets information about her parents. Meeting that stranger changes the course of her life. She gets to know more about her family and how much her mother Isra loved her and her sisters, Nora, Amal, and Layla. Deya also gets to know the truth about the death of her parents.
My favorite character in the book was Isra. Even though Isra grew up and lived in a patriarchal culture and household, she tries to make sense of everything. She also feels guilty that she is not living up to the mark of her mother or a middle-eastern woman.
It was a roller coaster ride of emotions throughout the book. Growing up in a South Asian country, I was able to relate to every character, and even with Isra. It was sad to see how patriarchy puts a woman down to her knees and punishes her for no reason. I also felt sad that the families especially women still continue to do the same with the next generation rather than making them strong and letting them study.
Favorite lines from the book:
- Where I come from, voicelessness is the condition of my gender, as normal as the bosoms on a woman's chest, as necessary as the next generation growing inside her belly.
- Yet as much as she wanted to go out and venture into the world, there was also comfort and safety in the known. And Mama's voice in her ear, reminding her: A woman belongs at home. Even if Isra left, she wouldn't know where to go.
- A daughter was only a temporary guest, quietly awaiting another man to scoop her away, along with all her financial burden.
- "Love each other? What does love have to do with marriage? You think your father and I love each other?"
- She lived her entire life straddled between two cultures. She was neither Arab nor American. She belonged nowhere. She didn't know who she was.
- Palestine or America. A woman will always be alone.
- It was Fareeda's idea not be breastfeed Deya. Breastfeeding prevented pregnancy, and adam needed a son.
- It's the loneliest people who love the books most.
- She thought back when Mama used to compare her with other girls, saying she was nothing but stick and bones, and that no man would want to marry her. She'd tell Isra to eat more, and when she gained weight, she'd tell her to eat less, and when she went outside, she'd tell her to stay out of the sun so her skin wouldn't get dark.
- I don't know. But I want to read a book about what it really means to be a woman.
- They're saying she drowned her in the bathtub. Ramsy and his family tried to pass it off as an accident, said she's still a young bride, and didn't know how to bathe a girl properly. But I heard she did it on purpose. She didn't want a daughter.
- The cruelest thing on this earth is a man's heart.
- Isra thought about Khaled and Fareeda, how they had carried their children out of the refuge camp, leaving their country behind and coming to America. They had to run away to survive, and now their daughter had done the same. Maybe that's the only way she thought. The only way to survive.
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